Articles

Leadership or Obedience?   A question that many people ask a professional trainer is “What theory of dog training do you believe in? Do you believe in the dominance theory and being “alpha” or do you believe in the sit, down, stay stuff?”  It is true that a quick internet search will offer countless “right ways” to relate with and train your dog.  There is actually a joke that the only thing that two dog trainers can agree on is what the third one is doing wrong!    I personally don’t believe that there is only one “right way” to train.  Each dog and each family are individuals and I believe that there is a time and a place for almost all training tools.  However I also believe that there are two main and distinct aspects to relating with dogs. Leadership and Communication.   To me the term dominant or alpha sound challenging and confrontational.  I do believe that dogs need leaders.  Dogs will follow calm, confident leadership and appreciate somebody else being in charge of things.  They do live in a dominance hierarchy and when nobody is in charge their world is not right.  This can sometimes be difficult for humans to understand.  We live in a supposed “Democratic” society where everybody is created equally.  Dogs just don’t get that.  Offering your dog leadership helps them to be calm, happy, confident, and responsive.  To be a good leader for your dog you will have to follow some basic rules:   PLAY HARD TO GET When greeting your dog and especially a new or strange dog the best way to be is a bit aloof.  Let the dog come to you. Don’t make eye contact or reach out, or, God forbid, bend down to hug, kiss, or pet a dog you don’t know.   Dogs communicate with the world first with their sense of smell, then by the energy we project, then by body language. Our friendly overture can easily be misunderstood by a dog. Bending over or reaching forward to a dog can put him in a defensive position as our body language can appear challenging.  Walking down the street we don’t reach out and touch or hug strangers.  For some reason people seem to think that they can with dogs!  Let him sniff you to get to know you first.  With a more confident dog our making the first move immediately sets the stage and communicates that the dog is in charge.    Let the dog come to you, sniff you, size you up.  Then you can squat down, pat from the side, and talk sweetly to him.  CALM DOWN We need to share calm energy to relate with dogs. We don’t want to project nervousness, tension, or over excitement. Dogs are only exposed to excited, emotional energy when they come to live with us!  If we want to give them what they need we need to be calm and confident.  We want them to know that we have their back and that there is nothing to worry about. A dog will not trust you or be lead by you if he doesn’t think you can handle any situation.  If you are nervous, tense, excited, then your dog will be as well.  Project confidence and stay calm. YOU GET WHAT YOU PET Unfortunately dogs don’t understand reassurance, they only understand reinforcement.  Again, you need to be calm and confident if you want your dog to be calm and confident.  When a child is frightened we can explain things, if a person is aggressive we can talk to them and calm them down.  Not so with a dog.  When people see a dog under stress they many times try to relate to the dog as a human.  They want to nurture the dog, pet him, love him, give him food and feel compassion about what they are going through.   Unfortunately we are only nurturing the unwanted behavior.  In the animal world they don’t nurture weakness.  If they do they nurture the wrong state of mind.  We can actually nurture instability. So, the mantra is “You get what you pet”.  If you have a dog that is frightened and you pet him to soothe him, you get fear.  If you have a dog that is aggressive and you try to relax him or distract him with food, you get aggression.  If you have an excited dog and you try to pet him to calm him down you get over excitement.   ALL GOOD THINGS IN LIFE COME FROM YOU The leader controls all resources.  When, where, how much to eat; When, where, and how much free time you get; When to play, how much affection you get, who to hunt.  Dogs appreciate rules, structures, and boundaries.  Just like children have chores, curfews, and responsibilities your dog’s life shouldn’t be a free-for-all.  Without that structure and somebody setting the rules his world will not be right.    One way to do this is to not leave food out for your dog.  Offer food and then take it away after 15 min. or so.  When there is a big, magic bowl that keeps filling itself up, he doesn’t have to look to you for anything. Of course, follow the advice of your veterinarian if your dog has any special dietary requirements. Also, don’t let your dog whenever he demands it. There is nothing wrong with petting your dog.  Just not every time he tells you to!  Have him sit first for a pat.  Imagine the sit as the canine version of please.  Have Fido say “Please?” by sitting first.   Teach your dog to wait for permission to leave his crate, leave the house, leave the car, etc.  You control when, where and how much free time he gets.    Lastly, don’t just mindlessly throw a ball or toy for your dog.  Have him work for it a bit.  Have him sit, then throw the toy.  You are not his social director!   So that’s leadership in a nutshell.    The Language The second component to relating with your dog is to develop a common language to communicate.  Dogs communicate with us as if we are dogs.  We communicate with our dogs as if they are children!  Obedience training is your common language.  Many people don’t understand the concept of obedience training.  They think of it as just tricks.  “Look, my dog can sit, look he can lie down.”  But no, it’s really a language to communicate WHAT to do, instead of always what NOT to do.  When your dog is pinging and bonging off the walls and you tell him to lie down he thinks “Thank God!  At least somebody knows what I’m supposed to do!” Whenever we are in times of stress we always feel better knowing what our job is. The language of obedience helps a fearful dog gain confidence, an aggressive dog to “give it up”, an excited dog learn self control.   Developing this common language is a very important part of relating with your dog.  Animals are actually very simple.  We make it complicated for dogs and challenging for humans as we don’t always see dogs for who they are.  By not understanding dogs and who they are we are not able to give them what they need.  Leadership and communication.  Giving the dog what he needs first will in turn give us a dog that we can enjoy, trust, and have a proper relationship with.    Written and Offered by Lisa M. Flynn The Cultured Canine, Inc. www.CulturedCanine.com 1-800-470-3043     The Cultured Canine, Inc. offers obedience training and behavior problem solving for dogs and their owners in South Eastern Massachusetts, the South Shore, Cape Cod, and the Metro Boston area.  Many of our clients also share their lives with their dogs in New Hampshire, Connecticut, and Rhode Island.